Monday, November 12, 2018
20 loads.

Very light test today. Corn stalks sold strongly. We had no straw today.

WE WILL CONTINUE HAVING MONDAY SALES, IN ADDITION TO OUR THURSDAY SALES, THROUGH THE END OF APRIL.

GRASS: 0

SIZE  LBS      $/Ton

Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis. One day the airport was fogged over, and Ole and Sven were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Ole said *I vish ve had something ta drink.*
Sven says *Me too. Y'know, I hear ya can drink dat jet fuel and get a buzz. Ya vanna try it?* So they pour themselves a couple glasses of the high octane hooch and got completely smashed. Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT. No hangover and no bad side effects. Nothing!

The phone rang and it was Sven who asked *How iss you feelin dis mornin?*
Ole says, *I feel great, how bout you?*
Sven says, *I feel great too! Ya don*t have no hangover?*
Ole says, *No. Dat jet fule iss great stuff --no hangover, nothing. Ve oughta do dis more often.*
Sven agreed. *Yeah, vell, but dere*s yust vun ting.*
Ole asked, *Vat*s dat?*
Sven guestion, *Haff you farted yet?*
Ole stopped to think, *No*
*Vell, DON*T, cause I'm in Iowa.*

Monday, November 8, 2018
45 loads

Market was generally a little lower. Quality was average at best.

REMEMBER: OUR MONDAY SALES HAVE STARTED AND WILL CONTINUE THROUGH THE END OF APRIL.

STRAW: 5

SIZE  LBS      $/Ton
3x4   40260   85.00
3x4   57180   85.00
3x4   41220   82.50
3x4   42900   80.00
lgrd   30520   140.00 -WHEAT

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
He asks, *What for?*
*I want to kill my husband,* she says.
He replies, *I*m sorry, but I can't do that.*
She then reaches into her handbag and pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him.
*Oh, you didn*t tell me you had a prescription.*
Ole stopped to think, *No*
*Vell, DON*T, cause I'm in Iowa.*

Monday November 5, 2018
11 loads

Market was called steady on a light run today. The rainy weather did not help our first Monday sale. We had no bedding today.

The chili cook-off was a success. Thank you to all who participated. Juanita took 1st place, and Frank took 2nd.

THIS IS OUR FIRST MONDAY SALE OF THE SEASON. WE WILL CONTINUE HAVING MONDAY SALES, IN ADDITION TO OUR THURSDAY SALES, THROUGH THE END OF APRIL.

CORNSTALKS: 0

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her 80s, and had never been married. She was always admired for her kindness and sweetness to all. One afternoon the pastor came over to visit her, and she showed him to a quiant sitting room. She invited him to sit while she prepared the tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young pastor noticed a fancy bowl sitting on top. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water, out of all things, floated a condom! When she returned with the tea and scones, they began to chat. The preacher, tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

*Miss Beatrice, I wonder if you would tell me about this* he said pointing at the bowl.
*Oh yes,* she replied. *Isn*t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little packet on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wetand that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know that I haven*t had the flu all winter!*

The pastor fainted.

Thursday, November 1, 2018
69 loads

Market was called a little lower today. Hay was of decent quality. Buyer interest was a little lower than last week.

REMEMBER: MONDAY WILL BE OUR FIRST MONDAY SALE OF THE SEASON! COME EARLY FOR OUR CHILI COOK-OFF.

STRAW: 5

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   52100 110.00
3x4   53160 110.00
3x4   54540   80.00
3x4   46440   80.00
lgrd   46920   40.00

John is having a bad day. He tried to button his shirt, and the button fell off. He picked up his briefcase and the handle fell off. He tried to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. Now he's scared to pee.

OCTOBER 4, 2018
74 loads

Grass sold strong. Alfalfa sold strong. Quality varied alot. Stalks sold a little weaker. REMEBER: WE WILL BE RESUMING MONDAY SALES IN NOVEMBER. NOVEMBER 5TH WILL BE OUR FIRST ONE!

MIXED: 4

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
lgrd   47260 137.50
lgrd   48340 117.50
lgrd   52700 107.50
lgrd   52720 105.00

STRAW: 3

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   48860 122.50
3x4   51240 100.00
bean 48060 50.00

A highly dangerous virus called *Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK) is going around. If you come into contact with this WORK virus, you should immediately go to the nearest *Biological Anxiety Relief* (BAR) center to take antidotes known as *Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract* (WINE), Radio-active UnWORK Medicine* (RUM), *Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter* (BEER), or *Vaccine Official Depression Killing Antigen* (VODKA). Please share this information to raise awareness. You know where you can find all of us tonight.

October 11, 2018
69 loads

Alfalfa was sold strongly today, and grass sold steady. Cornstalks sold steady to stronger today.

REMEMBER: WE WILL BE RESUMING MONDAY SALES NOVEMBER 5TH. WE WILL BE HAVING A CHILI COOKOFF! COME JOIN US!

MIXED:  3

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   44060 147.50
3x4   47700 147.50
lgrd   46020 105.00

STRAW: 6

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   47580 127.50
3x4   51520 120.00
3x4   55920 120.00
3x4   50500 105.00
3x4   50080 95.00
lgrd   48960 137.50

*Bless me father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.* The priest asks, *Is that you little Joey Pagano?* *Yes, Father, It is.* *And who is the girl you were with?* *I can*t tell you Father, I don*t want to ruin her reputation.*

*Well, Joey, I*m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?*

*I cannot say.*

*Was is Teresa Mazzarelli?*

*I will not tell.*

*Was it Nina Capelli?*

*Sorry, but I will not say her name*

*Was it Cathy Piriano?*

*My lips are sealed.*

*Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?*

*Please, Father, I cannot tell you.*

The priest sighs in frustration. *You*re very tight-lipped, and I admire that. But you have sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go behave yourself.* Joey walks back to his pew and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,

*What*d you get?*

*Four months vacation and five good leads!*

October 18, 2018
65 loads

MIXED: 3

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   47740 140.00
3x4   43920 140.00
lgrd   46900 120.00

STRAW: 5

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   30680 115.00
3x4   53360 105.00
3x4   52800 95.00
3x4   53580 92.50
3x4   50810 90.00

~~I was at the post office when I saw  a blonde woman shouting at an envelope. I asked, *What are you doing?* She replied, *Sending a voicemail!*

~~The temperature when from 80 to 55 like it saw a state trooper.

October 25, 2018
93 loads

Market was steady to stronger today. Quality was a little better on the alfalfa and grass. We had good buyer interest.

REMEBER: WE WILL BE RESUMING MONDAY SALES NOVEMBER 5TH. WE WILL BE HAVING A CHILI COOK OFF! COME JOIN US!

MIXED: 0

STRAW: 1

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   41080 120.00

A group of engineering students and their teacher were given a free air-plane ticket to go on a vacation. Once on the plane, the Captain announced that they were on the plane the students had built. Everyone freaked out and rushed off of the plane except for the teacher who sat there calmly. When the flight attendant asked why he hadn*t left, he responded *I know the ablilities of my students quite  well. This plane won*t even start.*