Rock Valley Hay Auction

July 5, 2018
51 loads

Today we had the good, the bad, & the ugly. Market reflected quality today and was up and down. We want to put all the flooding in the rearview mirror, and all roads in our area are open again! We look forward to having larger sales with more and better hay starting next week.

MIXED: 3

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
lgrd   49000 140.00
lgrd   60480 137.50
lgrd   16820 90.00

STRAW: 6

SIZE  BALES  $/BL
smsq 29         2.75

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   32080 130.00
3x4   35980 130.00
3x4   54420 130.00
3x4                  77.50
3x4   43540 70.00

I was going to bed the other night when I noticed some people in my shed stealing things. I called the police but was told no one was in the area to help. They said they would be over as soon as possible. I hung up.  A minute later I called again. *Hello,* I said, *I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don*t have to hurry now because I*ve shot them. They aren*t going anywhere.*

Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: *I thought you said you shot them?* To which I replied: *I thought you said there were no available units in the area?*

July 12, 2018
89 loads

Today was the first sale with much volume in the past month. We had good weather. Quality varied quite a bit. We had more of better grass and alfalfa, and the prices reflected that accordingly. We had a wide range of hay and price. We had several new loads of straw in today.

MIXED: 5

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
smsq 4520 115.00
3x4  52360 135.00
lgrd 48600 140.00
lgrd 51560 110.00
lgrd 32640 100.00

STRAW: 14

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   45300 62.50 wheat
3x3   41140 62.50 wheat
3x4   52280 117.50
3x4   49140 115.00
3x4   54980 115.00
3x4   45280 112.50
3x4   41880 105.00
3x4   57880 100.00
3x4   43160 77.50
3x4               75.00
3x4              75.00
lgrd  54980 95.00 new
lgrd  15720 80.00 new
lgrd   48000 42.50- bean

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy, *I*m gonna get the day off. I*m gonna pretend I*ve gone mad!* He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts  *I*m a lightbulb, I*m a lightbulb!* Murphy watches in amazement. The foreman shouts: *Paddy, go home. You*ve gone mad.* So Paddy leaves the site. Murphy starts packing is kit up to leave as well. *Where do you think you*re going?* asks the fore-man. *Well,  I can*t work in the friggin dark!* said Murphy.

July 19, 2018
81 loads

MIXED: 2

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   21610 92.50
lgrd  50580 127.50

STRAW: 11

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
wheat 39100 85.00
3x4   49520 102.50
3x4   47000 95.00
3x4   51920 87.50
3x4   52920 87.50
3x4   50680 82.50
3x4   42840 75.00
3x4   42880 75.00
3x4               72.50
lgrd  40720 100.00
bean 48920 45.00

~~Accidentally went to the grocery store on an empty stomach. I am now the proud owner of aisle 4.

~~Saw a store that has a sign that reads, *We treat you like family!* Yup, definitely not going in there!

July 26, 2018
85 loads

Almost all of the grass and alfalfa was new today. Market on the alfalfa was slightly lower, and grass backed off about $10/ ton. We had decent quality across the board, nothing fancy. Moderate buyer interest.

MIXED: 6

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4    21590 87.50
lgrd    48140 122.50
lgrd    47660 110.00
silage 47140 3 2.50
baleage 60480 25.00
baleage 61860 25.00

STRAW: 13

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   51400 107.50
3x4   40120 72.50
3x4               72.50
3x4               72.50
3x4               72.50
3x4               72.50
3x4  51140 70.00
3x4  52520 70.00
lgrd  38600 95.00
lgrd  36340 95.00
lgrd  33140 95.00
lgrd  32020 85.00
lgrd  47400 45.00 bean

~~I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in. I asked the trainer, *Which machine should I use to impress that lady over there?* The trainer looked over at me and replied, *I would recommend the ATM in the lobby.*

~~What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two..

July 30, 2018
78 loads

Market was rather steady today, although alfalfa was a little weaker.

MIXED: 0

STRAW: 11

SIZE   BALES  $/BL
smsq 160        3.75

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   45620 77.50
3x3   37600 72.50
3x4   47240 85.00
3x4   39740 85.00
3x4   37980 85.00
lgrd   42880 90.00
lgrd   40160 82.50
lgrd   39100 82.50
lgrd   17080 77.50 oats
lgrd   50560 65.00 oat/alf

Last Sat. a.m. Dick got up early, quietly dressed, made his lunch & slipped into the garage.  He hooked up his pickup & boat & proceeded to back out into a torrential down-pour. Wind was blowing 50 mph, so he pulled everything back into the garage, turned on the radio & discovered the weather would be bad all day.   So he went back into the house, quietly undressed &  slipped back into bed.  He cuddled up to his wife*s back expectantly, & whispered, *The weather out there is terrible.*  His loving wife of 5 years replied, *And can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?*   That*s when the fight started.

June 1, 2018
72 loads

Market was called steady to slightly weaker.

MIXED: 6

SIZE   LBS    $/Ton
smsq 10060 125.00 new
lgrd    50020 155.00
lgrd    43140 147.50
lgrd    48560 145.00
lgrd    47460 130.00
lgrd    59880 125.00 new

STRAW: 8

SIZE   LBS    $/Ton
3x3   33020 150.00
3x3   32880 135.00
3x4   52630 152.50
3x4                  95.00
3x4   41040    85.00
3x4   36800    82.50
3x4   44620    75.00
lgrd   37040 140.00

Five great confusions still unresolved.

1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?

2. In the word scent, is *S* silent or *C.*

3. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

4. Why is there a *D* in fridge, but not in refrigerator?

5. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

June 14, 2018
91 loads

Alfalfa sold lower today with old and new crop bringing about the same $. Quality was average at best. Market is transitioning into the new hay year. Grass market was lower today. $10-$20 lower on old hay. New grass was pretty well accepted. Cornstalks sold steady. Straw was a little weaker.

MIXED: 1

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
lgrd   54480 112.50 new

STRAW: 7

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   33480 130.00
3x4   54380 75.00
3x4   42220 72.50
3x4   39500 62.50
lgrd   39400 125.00
lgrd   38400 60.00
lgrd   35040 55.00

I went to the liqour store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and but it in the bicycle basket. I was about to leave, then I thought to myself that if I fell off the bike, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home, just in case. That turned out to be a very good decision because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

June 21, 2018
44 loads

MIXED: 1

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
lgrd   12680 142.50

STRAW: 5

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   54080 135.00
3x4   41080 60.00
3x4   45220 50.00
3x4   44600 42.50
lgrd   37040 45.00

Why cant you take a turkey to church? Beacause they use such fowl language.

*****************************

There was this blonde who bought two new dogs. Her friend asked the name of the dogs. She replied Timex and Rolex. Her friend replied Those are the names of watches, not dogs. Helloooo!! She replied, They are watchdogs!

June 28, 2018
48 loads

Alfalfa sold steady and weak today. A lot of both alfalfa and grass hay had a lot of rain. Prices reflected being rained on. Most grass hay was new cutting.

WE WILL HAVE A SALE NEXT THURSDAY, JULY 5, AT 12:30!

MIXED: 3

SIZE   LBS    $/Ton
lgrd   14920 140.00
lgrd   58820 137.50
lgrd   12540 112.50

STRAW: 4

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   32520 135.00
3x4   51980 67.50
3x4   48920 57.50
lgrd   37420 107.50

One year I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn*t buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, *You still haven*t used the one I got you last year.* And that*s how the fight started.

June 29, 2018
106 loads

Market was called stead to lower on the alfalfa. Grass was called steady to lower on top quality. If you are interested in small square straw bales, please contact Paul 712.470.1274.

MIXED: 2

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
lgrd   37980 92.50
lgrd   49800 90.00 new

STRAW: 2

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   70060 40.00
lgrd   5100 20.00

Reporter is interviewing a 104-year-old woman: *And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?* the reporter asked. She simply replied, *No peer pressure.*

Growing your own tomatoes is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Thursday, May 3, 2018
83 loads

Alfalfa was called lower today. Quality was down. Market was the same with the grass. Bedding was lower. Quality was the same as it has been on the stalks.

Monday sales are finished until November.

MIXED: 4

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   48460 140.00
3x3   50440 137.50
3x3   45220 132.50
lgrd   49240 117.50

STRAW: 3

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   39790 82.50
3x4   42370 82.50
lgrd   9440 100.00

Stuff I wonder about (Part 2):

* If you*re attacked by the Energizer Bunny, is he charged with battery?

* What if you stop to think and forget to start again?

* Why do we put suits in a garment bag, and garments in a suitcase?

*Why doesn*t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

* Who was Allen, and why did he have so many wrenches?

* Where exactly is the middle of nowhere?

* Where does your lap go when you stand up?

Thursday, May 10, 2018
76 loads

Market was called steady to a little lower today. Quality was down a bit as well.

Monday sales are finished until November.

MIXED: 5

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   45140 105.00
lgrd   42460 92.50
lgrd   42420 92.50
lgrd   32620 87.50
lgrd   47940 82.50

STRAW: 6

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   46040 60.00
3x4   44280 57.50
lgrd   42760 65.00
lgrd   41580 65.00
lgrd   57440 50.00
lgrd   38240 50.00

An old lady with a cane was walking past a young man singing *21 today, 21 today.* The young man says, *You*re not 21, you old bat.* She turns to him and with a mighty swing cracks him over the head with her cane and walks away singing *22 today, 22 today.*

Thursday, May 17, 2018
59 loads

MIXED: 5

SIZE  LBS   $/Ton
3x3   46640 117.50
3x3   44440 90.00
lgrd   45840 137.50
lgrd   51240 130.00
lgrd   43980 122.50

STRAW: 5

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   44400 120.00
3x4   49040 115.00
3x4   40860 67.50
3x4   44880 62.50
lgrd   27740 117.50

Monday, May 24, 2018
56 loads

Market was called steady again today. Quality remains to be a little lower. Demand is decent. We wish you all a happy and safe Memorial Day!

MIXED: 3

SIZE  LBS   $/Ton
3x3   45460 135.00
lgrd               145.00
lgrd               130.00

STRAW: 1

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   40080 72.50

~Knock knock.

Who*s there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No silly, cows go moo!

~~Who*s the new heifer?

I don*t know. Never seen herbivore

Thursday, May 31, 2018
46 loads

Market was called much stronger today on a light run. First week receiving new crop hay, and it was all put up in good shape.

MIXED: 3

SIZE  LBS   $/Ton
3x3   44740 130.00
lgrd   49880 157.50 new
lgrd     8950 145.00 new

STRAW: 3

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   33320 152.50
3x4   40010 87.50
lgrd   40160 130.00

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sale girl sees him and asks if she can help. He says that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later he brings a huge bag of cotton balls and a roll of string to the counter. The girl says *Sir, I thought you were looking for abox tampons for your wife.* He answered, *You see, it*s like this. Yesterday I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes. She returns some time later with a tin of tobacco and rolling papers because it is sooooo much cheaper. So I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she.*