Rock Valley Hay Auction

March 2018 | Mixed Hay & Bedding Results

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.", as he pointed out the location. The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish... On any land! No questions asked! Do you understand ?!!" The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step, the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd, sure enough, get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs..... "Your badge, show him your BADGE!!"

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how he determined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

*Well,* the director said, *we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, or a bucket to the patient, and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.*

*Oh, I understand,* I said. * A normal person would pick the bucket because it*s bigger than the spoon or teacup.*

*No,* the director said. * A normal person would pull the plug. Would you like a bed near to the window?*

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out. It hurls by the man, and he snatches out of the air and hands it back to her.

This is so embarrassing, she says as she pops her eye back into place.

Im sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?* He nods. The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds that they have a lot in common.

He gets her phone number and asks, You are the most charming woman Ive ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?*

No she replied. You just happened to catch my eye.

A woman is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in. Immediately he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. Be careful! CAREFUL! More butter! You need more butter! The wife startled at her husband*s reaction runs to the fridge for more butter.

Youre cooking too many at once! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!* The wife, concerned about her husband*s mental state, runs back to flip the eggs.

The butter! We need the butter! Are you CRAZY?! The eggs are going to stick! HURRY! The wife runs to the fri-

The eggs! Flip the eggs!! Careful! You never listen to me when youre cooking! NEVER! Turn the eggs! Not that quickly, dont you know how to cook? Are you insane? TURN THE EGGS!!

At this point, the wife starts crying since she has no idea what to do. She gasps, What is wrong with you? I know how to cook eggs.

The husband simply smiles and says, I just wanted to show you what it feels like driving with you in the car. Then he leaves.

Thursday, March 29, 2018
64 loads

Cornstalks were a little lower today,and straw sold steady to strong. Alfalfa sold strongly today. Grass was called very strong. We had good buyer interest and demand is tight due to ground conditions and nearing the end of the season. We are expecting good quality for hay day next Thursday. We hope to see youthere!!

HAY DAY 2018 WILL BE APRIL 5! Koldy*s will be serving burgers, chips, and beans outside and steak sandwiches inside.

WE WILL HAVE MONDAY AND THURSDAY SALES CONTINUING UNTIL MAY 1ST.

Posted: March 15, 2018 by Director1

February 2018 | Mixed Hay & Bedding Results

A man and a woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life! The neighbors feared him, and the man took pride in this. One evening he died at the age of 98. After the funeral, her neighbors asked the widow, Arent you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?* The widow said, Let him dig! I had him buried upside down, and I know he wont stop and ask for directions.*

A singles ad that appeared in the Atlanta Journal:

Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good looking girl that loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, fishing trips, and cozy winter nights by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I*ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.

Call: xxx-xxx-xxxx ask for Daisy.

Over 1,500 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black labrador retriever.

Last Wednesday, a passenger was in a taxi heading to the airport. She leaned forward to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up on the curb and stop just inches from hitting a storefront window. For a few minutes, everything was silent in the cab.

Then, the shaking driver said, I am so sorry, are you ok? You scared the daylights out of me! The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, I didnt realize a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly.*

The driver replied, No, no. Im the one who is sorry. Its entire my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years.

Posted: February 15, 2018 by Director1

February 2018 | Alfalfa & Grass Results

ALFALFA: 32

SIZE LBS $/Ton Cut
3x3 22720 142.50 3rd
3x3 28660 140.00 2nd
3x3 52080 140.00 2nd
3x3 14180 132.50 1st
3x3 48040 127.50 3rd
3x3 49420 107.50
3x4 50480 117.50 3rd
3x4 47820 110.00
lgrd 56720 145.00 2nd
lgrd 31040 135.00 4th
lgrd 57680 135.00 4th
lgrd 55380 132.50 2nd
lgrd 24340 130.00 1st
lgrd 51820 130.00 2nd
lgrd 51200 130.00 2nd
lgrd 45380 127.50 3rd
lgrd 40780 127.50 4th
lgrd 59200 125.00 1st
lgrd 44300 125.00 2nd
lgrd 53720 125.00 2nd
lgrd 44920 125.00 1st
lgrd 31640 125.00 4th
lgrd 50700 122.50 3rd
lgrd 46000 120.00 2nd
lgrd 42720 120.00 1st
lgrd 53140 120.00 1st
lgrd 50120 120.00 3rd
lgrd 48360 115.00 3rd
lgrd 47800 115.00 2nd
lgrd 29000 112.50 2nd
lgrd 15360 105.00 3rd
lgrd 47340 100.00 1st

GRASS: 35

SIZE LBS $/Ton
3x3 110.00
3x3 46060 82.50
3x3 44700 80.00
3x4 56740 137.50
lgrd 43520 157.50
lgrd 51520 137.50
lgrd 48700 137.50
lgrd 60940 135.00
lgrd 44520 130.00
lgrd 53400 127.50
lgrd 21120 127.50
lgrd 49960 125.00
lgrd 49200 122.50
lgrd 54280 122.50
lgrd 46260 122.50
lgrd 21740 122.50
lgrd 46400 120.00
lgrd 46180 120.00
lgrd 55080 120.00
lgrd 46140 120.00
lgrd 52860 117.50
lgrd 40740 115.00
lgrd 48120 115.00
lgrd 17260 115.00
lgrd 51520 115.00
lgrd 64160 115.00
lgrd 47900 112.50
lgrd 53460 112.50
lgrd 35200 112.50
lgrd 47160 110.00
lgrd 54720 107.50
lgrd 46280 107.50
lgrd 50760 105.00
lgrd 40960 100.00
lgrd 62700 100.00

GRASS: 26

SIZE LBS $/Ton
lgrd 21620 155.00
lgrd 52480 145.00
lgrd 42860 145.00
lgrd 54020 142.50
lgrd 53160 140.00
lgrd 49780 137.50
lgrd 46740 137.50
lgrd 48700 137.50
lgrd 42420 135.00
lgrd 51240 135.00
lgrd 53860 135.00
lgrd 45660 135.00
lgrd 43020 135.00
lgrd 50720 135.00
lgrd 20860 132.50
lgrd 50760 132.50
lgrd 48340 130.00
lgrd 41180 125.00
lgrd 48040 122.50
lgrd 32700 120.00
lgrd 38680 120.00
lgrd 16960 117.50
lgrd 48240 115.00
lgrd 53980 115.00
lgrd 40920 115.00
lgrd 41180 95.00

A man and a woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life! The neighbors feared him, and the man took pride in this. One evening he died at the age of 98. After the funeral, her neighbors asked the widow, Arent you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?* The widow said, Let him dig! I had him buried upside down, and I know he wont stop and ask for directions.*

ALFALFA: 26

SIZE LBS $/Ton Cut
smsq 47340 112.50 3rd
3x3 50000 157.50 1st
3x3 51340 135.00 2nd
3x3 51000 127.50 1st
3x3 51000 127.50 2nd
3x3 51320 125.00 3rd
3x3 29120 120.00 2nd
3x4 55260 97.50 3rd
lgrd 57860 135.00 2nd
lgrd 49000 130.00 3rd
lgrd 21420 125.00 2nd
lgrd 32340 122.50 4th
lgrd 32940 122.50 4th
lgrd 44600 120.00 5th
lgrd 44040 117.50 1st
lgrd 66040 117.50 4th
lgrd 38540 112.50 2nd
lgrd 43960 112.50 5th
lgrd 51840 110.00 1st
lgrd 48020 110.00 1st
lgrd 24780 105.00 2nd
lgrd 50960 105.00 1st
lgrd 44740 102.50 1st
lgrd 50240 100.00 1st
lgrd 50040 100.00 2nd
lgrd 51940 90.00 2nd

GRASS: 31

SIZE LBS $/Ton
smsq 6520 107.50
3x3 44680 75.00
3x3 45400 70.00
3x4 49620 107.50
lgrd 43180 127.50
lgrd 41060 120.00
lgrd 63580 120.00
lgrd 51140 117.50
lgrd 47280 115.00
lgrd 33020 115.00
lgrd 45640 112.50
lgrd 19940 112.50
lgrd 110.00
lgrd 55180 110.00
lgrd 45380 110.00
lgrd 49360 107.50
lgrd 18920 107.50
lgrd 52660 105.00
lgrd 49090 105.00
lgrd 42400 105.00
lgrd 52600 102.50
lgrd 44720 102.50
lgrd 52440 100.00
lgrd 52660 97.50
lgrd 56040 95.00
lgrd 50340 95.00
lgrd 16680 92.50
lgrd 51260 90.00
lgrd 52340 90.00
lgrd 22000 90.00
lgrd 40940 85.00

A singles ad that appeared in the Atlanta Journal:

Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good looking girl that loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, fishing trips, and cozy winter nights by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I*ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.

Call: xxx-xxx-xxxx ask for Daisy.

Over 1,500 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black labrador retriever.

ALFALFA: 28

SIZE LBS $/Ton Cut
3x3 48500 145.00 1st
3x3 48440 130.00 2nd
3x3 47340 125.00
3x3 45820 125.00 2nd
3x3 52600 120.00 2nd
3x3 18300 117.50 1st
3x4 51740 122.50 1st
3x4 48240 122.50 2nd
3x4 14960 97.50 2nd
lgrd 59380 167.50 4th
lgrd 49940 135.00 2nd
lgrd 52220 125.00
lgrd 53920 125.00 1st
lgrd 120.00
lgrd 51960 120.00 3rd
lgrd 49300 120.00 3rd
lgrd 45760 120.00 3rd
lgrd 12600 117.50 1st
lgrd 57020 117.50
lgrd 27400 115.00 2nd
lgrd 45540 112.50 2nd
lgrd 48340 110.00 3rd
lgrd 51960 110.00
lgrd 46040 110.00 3rd
lgrd 41480 107.50 2nd
lgrd 51000 107.50 1st
lgrd 33800 100.00 3rd

lgrd 44480 90.00

GRASS: 31

SIZE LBS $/Ton
smsq 2540 150.00
smsq 6700 117.50
3x3 45820 120.00
3x3 47480 85.00
lgrd 42860 137.50
lgrd 49280 137.50
lgrd 56060 125.00
lgrd 45300 125.00
lgrd 51020 125.00
lgrd 40560 125.00
lgrd 52450 122.50
lgrd 58280 122.50
lgrd 43080 120.00
lgrd 53740 120.00
lgrd 18780 115.00
lgrd 44620 115.00
lgrd 58680 115.00
lgrd 47900 112.50
lgrd 46600 110.00
lgrd 105.00
lgrd 46520 105.00
lgrd 8720 105.00
lgrd 43040 102.50
lgrd 36560 102.50
lgrd 100.00
lgrd 42160 100.00
lgrd 47920 100.00
lgrd 45920 95.00
lgrd 54800 95.00
lgrd 38880 90.00
lgrd 46780 77.50

cattails 47500 40.00

Last Wednesday, a passenger was in a taxi heading to the airport. She leaned forward to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up on the curb and stop just inches from hitting a storefront window. For a few minutes, everything was silent in the cab.

Then, the shaking driver said, I am so sorry, are you ok? You scared the daylights out of me! The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, I didnt realize a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly.*

The driver replied, No, no. Im the one who is sorry. Its entire my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years.

Posted: February 15, 2018 by Director1

January 2018 | Mixed Hay & Bedding Results

*Winter weather warning:
Southerners: advised not to travel unless absolutely necessary.
Northerners: you will need your big coat.

*Friends- Please be careful! New Year*s Eve I went to a party. I had a few beers, followed by a few cocktails, followed by a few shots. I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit. That*s when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab home. Sure enough, there was a police roadblock on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without
incident. This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don*t even know where I got it from, and now that it is in my garage, I don*t know what to do with it.

Thursday, January 11, 2018
70 loads.

It was a very cold day in the valley. We had decent buyer interest. Market was called steady to a little weaker.

With great sadness, we have to announce that on Monday we lost a great friend and employee of the Rock Valley Hay Auction. Harvey Driesen died Monday afternoon in an accident while delivering a load of cornstalks west of Hudson, SD. Please keep his family in your prayers. We also want to remind everyone to remain cautious as farming can be very dangerous.

WE WILL CONTINUE HAVING MONDAY AND THURSDAY SALES THROUGH APRIL.

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, *Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can*t figure it out, or how to get started.*
Boyfriend asked, *What*s it supposed to be when it's finished?*
*According to the box, its supposed to be a tiger,* she said. Her boyfriend decided to go over and help her with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box and said, *First of all, no matter how hard we try, we will never assemble these pieces into anything that resembles a tiger.* He took her hand and said, *Second, I want you to relax. Let*s have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then...* he sighed,......*Let*s put all of these frosted flakes back in the box.*

A firefighter was working on his engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders on the side and a garden hose neatly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter*s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her cat and dog. The fireman walked over to take a closer look.

*That sure is a nice fire-truck* he said.
*Thank you* the girl replied. He took a closer look and noticed that the girl had tied the wagon to the dog*s collar and the cat*s testicles.
*Little partner,* said the fireman, *I don*t want to tell you how to run your rig, but you could probably go faster if you tied the wagon to the cat*s collar instead.*
She said, *You*re probably right sir, but then I wouldn*t have a siren.*

Two ladies were walking down the street and walked past a pet shop. There was a parrot sitting near the door on his perch. As the ladies approach, the parrot says,
*Caw.. You*re ugly.* The woman was appalled and asked, *What did you say?*
So the parrot repeated himself *Caw..You*re ugly.*
The woman said, *If you say that again, I*m gonna tell the manager.* Then the women walked away. The next day the women walk past the pet shop again.
*Caw... you*re ugly.* The woman found the manager and told him what the parrot had been saying to her.
*Don*t worry ma'am. I will have a good talking to with him and I promise he will not say that again.* The next day the two women decide to walk past the pet shop just to check. The woman says, *And what do you have to say for yourself?*The parrot gives her an angry look and says, *Oh, you know!*

Posted: January 15, 2018 by Director1

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Homepage Picture Top

March 2018 | Mixed Hay & Bedding Results

CORNSTALKS: 19

MIXED: 4

STRAW: 10

We had a small sale today, due to the weather. Cornstalks were steady, Not enough inventory to really test anything else.

CORNSTALKS: 7

MIXED: 0

STRAW: 0

CORNSTALKS: 6

MIXED: 5

STRAW: 2

Market was called steady. Not a lot of volume to test the market. HAY DAY 2018 WILL BE HELD APRIL 5TH!!

CORNSTALKS: 8

MIXED: 1

STRAW: 2

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out. It hurls by the man, and he snatches out of the air and hands it back to her.

*This is so embarrassing,* she says as she pops her eye back into place.

*I*m sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?* He nods. The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds that they have a lot in common.

He gets her phone number and asks, *You are the most charming woman I*ve ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?*

*No* she replied. *You just happened to catch my eye.*

The weather cooperated very well today. We had heavy volume. Market was called steady to slightly weaker. The quality varied tremendously. HAY DAY 2018 WILL BE APRIL 5!

CORNSTALKS: 10

MIXED: 2

STRAW: 6

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Very small run today. Not much to test. Bedding sold a little weaker today. HAY DAY 2018 WILL BE HELD APRIL 5TH!!

CORNSTALKS: 7

MIXED: 1

STRAW: 6

CORNSTALKS: 9

MIXED: 2

STRAW: 8

Jake is five and learning to read. He points at a picture in a zoo book and says, *Look Mama! It*s a frickin elephant!* Deep breath.. *What did you call it?* *It*s a frickin elephant Mama! It says so on the picture!* and so it does... A f r i c a n Elephant

Hooked on phonics ~ Isn*t it wonderful?

WE WILL HAVE MONDAY AND THURSDAY SALES CONTINUING UNTIL MAY 1ST.

CORNSTALKS: 6

MIXED: 0

STRAW: 1

A woman is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in. Immediately he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. *Be careful! CAREFUL! More butter! You need more butter!* The wife startled at her husband*s reaction runs to the fridge for more butter.

*You*re cooking too many at once! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!* The wife, concerned about her husband*s mental state, runs back to flip the eggs.

*The butter! We need the butter! Are you CRAZY?! The eggs are going to stick! HURRY!* The wife runs to the fri-

*The eggs! Flip the eggs!! Careful! You never listen to me when you*re cooking! NEVER! Turn the eggs! Not that quickly, don*t you know how to cook? Are you insane? TURN THE EGGS!!*

At this point, the wife starts crying since she has no idea what to do. She gasps, *What is wrong with you? I know how to cook eggs.*

The husband simply smiles and says, *I just wanted to show you what it feels like driving with you in the car.* Then he leaves.

WE WILL HAVE MONDAY AND THURSDAY SALES CONTINUING UNTIL MAY 1ST.

CORNSTALKS: 19

MIXED: 4

STRAW: 10

February 2018 | Mixed Hay & Bedding Results

Grass trended a little lower today. Alfalfa was called steady. Quality was average. We had good buyer attendence today.

CORNSTALKS: 12

MIXED: 3

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the utter side!

Why did the rooster cross the road? To prove it wasn*t chicken!

Why did the horse cross the road? To visit his neighborhood!

Why did the farmer cross the road? To get all of his animals back!

We had a light run today which is difficult to test the market. The weather was a factor and limited the buyer and seller attendance. Market was called slightly lower.

CORNSTALKS: 2

STRAW: 2

The quality of the hay was much lower today, and the market reflected that accordingly.

CORNSTALKS: 8

STRAW: 5

~~Did some financial planning, and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for eleven minutes.

~~Been married 20 years, but I still carry my wife*s picture in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life, I take out my wallet and stare at her picture. It comforts me knowing that if I survived being married to this psycho, I can survive anything.

There was not really enough hay here to test the market today. Cornstalks sold strongly.

CORNSTALKS: 4

MIXED: 1

STRAW: 2

A singles ad that appeared in the Atlanta Journal:

Call: xxx-xxx-xxxx ask for Daisy.

Over 1,500 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black labrador retriever.

Market was called general steady, with quality varying greatly. Supply is beginning to tighten. Demand is moderate. HAY DAY 2018 WILL BE APRIL 5!

CORNSTALKS: 11

MIXED: 3

STRAW: 5

~~This weekend there was a black widow spider found in a package of grapes. Yet another reason to not be a vegetarian. You never find spiders in packages of bacon.

~~Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.

Icy conditions made for a very small sale today. Not enough volume to test the market. Cornstalk sold steady. HAY DAY 2018 WILL BE HELD ON THURSDAY, APRIL 5TH!!

This is so embarrassing, she says as she pops her eye back into place.

Im sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?* He nods. The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds that they have a lot in common.

He gets her phone number and asks, You are the most charming woman Ive ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?*

No she replied. You just happened to catch my eye.

Jake is five and learning to read. He points at a picture in a zoo book and says, Look Mama! Its a frickin elephant!* Deep breath.. What did you call it? *Its a frickin elephant Mama! It says so on the picture! and so it does... A f r i c a n Elephant

A woman is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in. Immediately he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. Be careful! CAREFUL! More butter! You need more butter! The wife startled at her husband*s reaction runs to the fridge for more butter.

Youre cooking too many at once! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!* The wife, concerned about her husband*s mental state, runs back to flip the eggs.

The butter! We need the butter! Are you CRAZY?! The eggs are going to stick! HURRY! The wife runs to the fri-

The eggs! Flip the eggs!! Careful! You never listen to me when youre cooking! NEVER! Turn the eggs! Not that quickly, dont you know how to cook? Are you insane? TURN THE EGGS!!

At this point, the wife starts crying since she has no idea what to do. She gasps, What is wrong with you? I know how to cook eggs.

The husband simply smiles and says, I just wanted to show you what it feels like driving with you in the car. Then he leaves.

~~A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, Wow! In all my years tending bar, Ive never had a weasel stop by. What can I get you?* Pop, goes the weasel.

Then, the shaking driver said, I am so sorry, are you ok? You scared the daylights out of me! The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, I didnt realize a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly.*

The driver replied, No, no. Im the one who is sorry. Its entire my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years.